


i'll crawl home to him

by bloomingbruise



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, WELL if you squint theres mentions of suicide, aching fluff, and jongin being warm, but hes mostly just emo, its pretty much just sekai being soft, literally just so fucking in love, overworked sehun madly in love and so soft, sehun being needy, so so warm, zero angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 17:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14359749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomingbruise/pseuds/bloomingbruise
Summary: jongin's lips alone soothe sehun's soul, mending him and bringing him back to life. what had been sucked from his soul is revived just by jongin's simple touch.he doesn't deserve him, not for a second. but he's not going to question it.





	i'll crawl home to him

**Author's Note:**

> i saw someone on twitter say they wanted an angst free, established relationship fic so i felt inspired. well, mildly inspired. its heavily based on work song by hozier, i'm very transparent with that. i've also reallllllly wanted to write a sun (jongin) and moon (sehun) fic recently and while this isn't exactly that, it's satisfied me.... for now. and it's a bit rushed and unplanned but i hope a) y'all enjoy and b) the person saying they wanted it to feel fulfilled... if they find it lol
> 
> like i said in the tags, there is a slight suicide mention.
> 
> zero proof reading, garbled garbage. i hope y'all enjoy though
> 
> leave kudos + comments to stroke my tiny ego
> 
> my twitter is joyesque, @ me in sekai crap to raise my stupid spirits

he hated the smell of the library, sehun concluded as he packed up his belongings after a long evening with his study group. school was exhausting — everyone felt this but he felt it deeper. studying too was overwrought. his head ached and he swore his brain was truly swollen. motivation, it was slim. his motivation, he was slim.

"come celebrate, hun," chanyeol, a fellow classmate — no, they had established they were friends now — yelled as they left the library.

sehun smiled in return, nodding his head softly. "we have no reason to celebrate yet, yeol. finals haven't happened and i don't have my diploma in hand. ask me after that." chanyeol just laughed. he knew sehun had somewhere else he wanted to be anyway.

the other classmates shrugged too, moving on without him as he shuffled towards the subway station with stiff joints and aching limbs. he can remember a time when hitting the bar after study group was all that kept him moving. knocking back drink after drink (and many more from there) was what truly kept him motivated. the alcohol stuttering through his veins motivated him more than anything else. that was before, though. swiping his card and dragging himself through the underground gates of the station, he could remember the days when he was almost certain he was going to die on the subway. alcohol poisoning or exhaust, those would be the cluprits. some sad stranger would try to shake his body awake only to find him cold. that was what he had done to himself. work hard and play even harder. no, play stupid. this, like many shaken bad habits, was before his life was truly worth living. before him.

he could remember the way his head felt against the cool bar counter. wood against his soft, sweaty skin. the way the one drink only made him need more, it was a slippery slope. there were times the bartender would grow sick of his antics, even if they were old friends. sehun would grow sick of himself too. sick of himself. sick of drinking. sick of school. sick of being alive. yeah, there were many of those moments. he would pause in his classes as professors droned on, wondering why he did this all. he had coached himself to say that he wanted to be a lawyer, that helping the little people was gratifying — but would questionable criminals even care about his struggles. the way he inched closer and closer towards insanity with each day. the way he begged for death in the dark of the night, laughing bitterly to himself. but he could remember that one evening. everything changed. his dark eyes were glazed over in a drunken haze as some sort of angel met his gaze. their smile spreading over their cheeks at his antics. and fuck, he could feel the smile spreading over his own cheeks — even now in the present, the sheer memory of that night made him grin. he begged him to come home with him and willingly, the angel came. and stayed. and settled. and sehun swore he had kidnapped this man and he had become a victim of stockholm syndrome. but the angel would just laugh. kiss him silly. jongin would calm his nerves.

the walk from the subway station to his apartment wasn't too long. not long at all, actually. but sehun could remember stumbling home some nights. aching, tired. his face and the concrete almost met one too many times. and while his legs were tired now, he carried himself home with haste. never tripping. never stumbling. never stopping. no, he had someone to see. he had someone to come home to.

when he walked through the door, there was always a greeting. "sehunnie?" chirped a velvet voice, footsteps immediately following. red spread over sehun's cheeks the moment jongin walked into view and he couldn't help himself. scooping the other up in his arms and beaming wide. he pressed his smile into the other's neck as he buried his face in it.

"i missed you," sehun sighed like a man who had just come home from a long, long war. pressing a kiss into his jaw.

to this, jongin just laughed, "you ate lunch with me."

"that was hours ago," sehun whimpered, dragging their bodies to their bed and pulling jongin's body onto his own. wanting so desperately to melt them together "too many hours. too many people in between."

"but now you're home," he could hear jongin's fond smile in his voice.

fuck, he was right. sehun was home. not just the building, not their apartment. not the furnishings they bought or the bed they'd made their own. but in jongin's arms, limbs tangled together. that was home. his smile was home. the way his eyes creased into tiny moons was home too. his deep voice, hoarse from a long day. jongin got tired too. jongn was always tired truthfully — always worked and you could easily convince sehun that he worked harder than him. but jongin handled it better. he wasn't a brat or a baby (well.... not all the time). he was just his baby. sehun wondered when he became a sap.

as jongin carded his fingers through sehun's hair in comfortable silence, all the younger could do was sigh. sigh and look at his love in absolute awe. it was beautiful and perfect and absolutely mundane. had you asked him when he was tortured, sehun would say it was disgusting — he had grandiose plans of travel and passion and excitement. the image of them now was foul, it was wrong. yet here he was. praying that they could stay like this forever. stay with jongin until his eyes closed for good. and even then.

"how was your day?" jongin's voice was hushed, soothing. he sighed softly against sehun's cheset.

his eyes fluttered open to gaze down at jongin who was curled against him. it was bliss, wasn't it? it was perfect. "it was perfect," his inner monologue embarrassingly met life. and jongin just laughed. beautiful gold laughter spilling so effortlessly from him. sehun shivered at the sound, he could drink it up. "it's perfect now. classes were alright. studying was awful. you know how much group is, all play and no work."

"mmmmmmmmm," jongin nodded, "i remember when you when you were like that too." the cheeky grin he wore socked sehun right in the gut. though he knew jongin wasn't wrong. "do you at feel prepared for finals now? or at least a bit more prepared? truth be told, i'm nervous going into mine. but graduation is around the corner — the rest of my life is coming soon. the rest of our lives, that's coming soon."

sehun's arms wrapped tightly around jongin, squeezing him against his chest. "you have nothing to worry about baby," fingers skimmed over his back, slipping under his shirt and dancing along his spine. "you're brilliant and i know you'll do well. truly. you've aced your classes thus far. and you a natural in the classroom — those kiddos adore you."

"you too," jongin poked back, chin resting against sehun's chest. "you're going to do great. you've been so focused."

sehun smiled to himself, warmth swelling in his chest as jongin spoke. he didn't have much faith in himself. he wasn't even sure if there was anyone who had faith in him either. perhaps his parents, blindly. until jongn smeared his gooey, optimism all over sehun's grid. his life being painted in happiness. in looking forward. he never thought this outlook would suit him. a wry grin spread over his features. "after graduation, i'm going to ask you to marry me." sitting up slowly, he settled jongin's legs around his waist, shifting in bed. "kim jongin," his voice was teasingly scolding, " the bed is already warm. have you been napping?"

the older blushed, smiling softly. "yeah, i napped," he confessed in a half truth.

"mhmmmm," sehun eyed him, teeth grazing over his neck.

"and..." jongin's voice pinched at the gesture, attempting to confess his sins. he moved sehun's hands down his body, fingers slipping into his sweatpants. he palmed jongin's ass with a soft growl. "i prepped."

sehun gasped, it was all a show. fingers spread jongin with accidental haste, wanting to see if his words were true. pressing his finger through the muscle with ease, he nipped at his neck. "you're a minx and you're going to murder me."

jongin's fingers smoothed down sehun's chest, balling up the fabric and pulling it over his head. after that, their clothes melted off his haste and ease. lips meeting and separating. gasps softly slipping from their lips and sweet whimpers filled the room. filled sehun's ears.

never before had he believed in soulmates, nor did he believe that one person could save you — but jongin converted a skeptic. the way he enveloped him perfectly, the way his lips and the wise words that spilled from them soothed his aching soul, there was no way that sehun could believe any of the old bitter thoughts that consumed him before. loving jongin motivated him. being loved by jongin was fueling and warming and it gave him a sense of priority and purpose. he wished he had had it without him, desperately so. but jongin would assure him, with words and silently, that someday sehun would find it in himself and no longer need him — but he promised that he would still want him.

there were nights when their bodies moved fast. there were nights when sehun fucked jongin into the mattress but on some nights, nights like this, where he pressed himself into jongin. their eyes meeting and never breaking their gaze. he'd smile as tears trickled from jongin, sweet, loving tears. he'd kiss them away too. 'i love you' spilled from their lips until sehun spilled into jongin with whimpers. jongin would always apologize for the mess made on their torsos and sehun would always steal a taste and tell him there was no apology needed. some nights they needed showers. holding each other under the soft trickle of water that sprayed them. feeling even more naked and raw under the water. there were some nights though, where they were each too tired to care about a mess.

tonight was one of those nights, jongin collapsing onto sehun's chest and curling into him. sehun would kiss the top of his head and jongin would whisper millions of sweet words. loving words. mesmerizing words that sent sehun spiraling deeper and deeper in love. they rarely found themselves in a place to speak too much more before sleep called to them. calling louder to jongin as soft snores would slip through his lips. he tried to stay awake though, fighting the good fight.

"i would say yes," he whispered softly, blinking in and out of sleep. it was moments like this that sehun would ignore him, allowing jongin to fall back into his haze.

"hm?" but he chose it ignore that inkling, curious as to what his delirious lover had to say.

"i know you love a good surprise," he giggled, "but after graduation, i'm going to say yes. i'm going to marry you, oh sehun."

his voice was sweet and soft and so giddy. and after the sweetest words fell from those plush lips, snores quickly followed again. and sehun just smiled to himself. bliss, that was what he had.

in the low light of the moon that spilled into their room; in the arms of jongin, sehun was free. he was free from the hell he had been living — despite it being mildly self inflicting. he was free from his self hatred and his stress. of course, it plagued him from time to time but jongin didn't care about the man he was before. the man he sometimes saw himself as now.

he forgave those self imposed sins and loved sehun regardless. he loved sehun deeply. he loved sehun completley.

and sehun wanted to love harder — impossibly so, it was equal.

**Author's Note:**

> truthfully, i was way too lazy to write the smut so i kinda skimmed it, save a few details. forgive me sdfksdjfksd


End file.
